Chapter 19

“Will you be wanting to meet with the housekeeper, milady?” Naomi looked up from her breakfast.

“Does she have stuff she wants to tell me?”

“No, miss, but don’t you have things you wish to tell her?”

Naomi recalled Tavik saying she could order around the household help if she liked. She had not liked.

“No, but I guess I should invite her over for like tea of something so we can meet.”

"Of course, milady. I'll go arrange it."

With Yula gone, Naomi nibbled on the remains of her breakfast worrying over how she could possibly make headway in her unicorn hunt. It had to be her prime concern. She needed information. She wondered if Tavik had anything resembling a library in the castle. He did not seem like the book type. A spot of movement on the floor made her start. Her eyes picked out the source of movement and saw a small light brown mouse. Her first reaction was to figure out how to kill it, but the only ways she knew were bought in supermarkets.

She kept an eye on the mouse figuring she liked better knowing where it was than not. She looked at the cup she had drunk out of and wondered if she could catch it under it. The mouse was near the bed. She knew if she lunged for it now, it would run under there, and she would lose it. She had a few pieces of bread left. She flicked a couple of pieces to the floor in the direction of the mouse. She saw the mouse’s nose twitch. She kept very still and waited. The mouse did not move. She turned her head away but tracked him out of the corner of her eye. The mouse remained still for a few moments longer then very slowly crept out from underneath the protection of the bed. He snuck up to the first crumb and gobbled it down. Naomi did not react. She kept her head turned and slowly turned the cup around in her hand. The mouse ventured a little further away from the bed to reach the next crumb. She still kept still. When he was done with the second crumb, she flicked a couple more onto the floor, but she did not flick these as hard so they landed much closer to her chair. The mouse growing extremely bold, ran to next couple of crumbs, and greedily gobbled them up. He was now less than a yard away from her feet. Naomi finally made her move. She snatched up her wooden cup and slammed it down upon the mouse. Unfortunately, the mouse’s tail got caught outside the cup, and he let out a pain filled squeak.

“Motherfucker! Goddamn bitch, are you trying to kill me! Chop it off why don’t you, or are you going to blind me first, you goddamn bitch!”

The world shifted. Naomi looked down at the cup. Had that really happened? She put her ear to the cup.

“Hello?”

“Hello! Is this how you greet all new acquaintances? Trap them, maim them, and then chit chat?”

Noami jerked back and looked around the room to see if there was any explanation other than the dizzyingly obvious one. She was alone in the room, and the cup still swore at her.

“Let me out of here, bitch! I didn’t do anything to you! Let me go or I’ll, I’ll…”

“Or what! You’re a freaking mouse!” Did she really just say that?

“I’m a talking mouse! If I can talk, just think what else I can do!” the mouse replied. Naomi’s sense of humor finally kicked back in because really the mouse could talk, but he talked in a mouse voice. It was high pitched, and he made little sucking and whistling noises through his teeth. Threatening was a tone he was incapable of.

Naomi decided at that moment that this was one messed up world. It had two ugly moons, unicorns, killer kangaroos, and talking mice. What could be next--floating trees?

“I’m kinda new to this world. Do all vermin talk?”

“Vermin! I’m not vermin! I’m a respectable mouse!”

Laughter bubbled in Naomi’s throat, but she swallowed it back. “OK, so how come you talk?”

The cup did not respond. “Are you going to answer me, or have I stopped hallucinating?”

She heard some mumbling from under the cup. “I can’t hear you,” Naomi sing-songed. She was losing it. This place had made her bonkers; She was talking to a mouse.

“I was a wizard, and I added powdered aardvark instead of ashes of phoenix to a brew I was making. It exploded, and I woke up like this.”

“Did you work for Tavik?”

“That scum lord? Pshaw! I am only in this castle because it’s the best place to get scraps. Why if I were in my true form, I would turn that bastard into a duck and then have duck soup for dinner!” Naomi’s lips twitched in the corners as she listened to the mouse’s bravado, but a light bulb went off over her head.

“If you’re a wizard, you know stuff right?”

“If I’m a wizard? I will have you know, Miss Sadist, that I am considered one of the most knowledgeable wizards in the land! I know more about everything than you could even comprehend, and you are still killing my tail!”

Naomi tilted up the cup a smidge on the side trapping the tail and watched the little hairless appendage zip underneath the cup. “What do you know about unicorns?”

“Tons! I know what they eat, drink, where they sleep, how they mate, where they run! I am the ultimate expert on unicorns.”

“Because you are the ultimate expert on everything?” Naomi asked.

“Damn right, missy.”

“All right, if you tell me everything you know about unicorns, I will make you fat with all the cheese you can eat.”

“Can I get wine too?”

Naomi quirked an eyebrow at the addition. “Yes, wine too.”

“Will you let me out from under this cup?”

“Do you promise to not run away and never come back?”

“Do you promise not to kill me, cut off my tail, break any of my bones, snip my whiskers, clip my ears, or make me spurt blood in any way?”

Jeez, he was one paranoid little mouse. She thought he was cute. “I promise not to hurt you in anyway if you tell me about unicorns and not just promise to. For every bit of cheese and sip of wine I give, you have to tell me something about unicorns.”

“Fair enough. Will you lift this damn cup already?”

Naomi lifted the cup, and the mouse looked up at her with twitching whiskers. Naomi looked down on it waiting for it to say something. Instead, the mouse turned tail and dashed underneath the bed. Naomi lunged to catch it, but she was too slow for the surprisingly fast mouse.

“Hey, we made a deal!”

From under the bed, the mouse replied, “Yes, we did. Stock up on cheese and wine. I know a hell of a lot about unicorns.”

“Like what!” Naomi exclaimed, but the little voice did not answer again. Naomi looked underneath the bed, and she could see a small jagged hole at floor level directly at the center of the bed.

Continue to Chapter 20.