Chapter 11

A unicorn weighs more dead than alive.

“What just happened?”

Tavik lay sprawled on the floor unconscious. She wheeled around looking for Agatha. The black cat crept out from under the bed

“I didn’t do it.”

“I did,” a small, squeaky voice said.

“Mr. Squibbles!”

“That’s me.” The familiar poked out from a rumpled napkin on the table. Her eyes darted to the corpse on the floor.

“Then who--“

“A stupid field mouse who insisted on following me. I told him to stay away, but he was so stupid he wouldn’t listen to me. Serves him right, idiot.”

Agatha leapt up onto the table and licked the mouse’s head. “Oh, Mr. Squibbles, you make me so proud. A witch couldn’t ask for a better, smarter, cleverer familiar.”

“And I will remind you of that repeatedly,” he said.

“You poisoned him?” Naomi asked

“Don’t worry. I didn’t kill him. I just gave him enough to stay asleep for a very long time.”

“Now what do we do?” She stared at the prone body. He seemed bigger unconscious.

Agatha chanted some sort of spell. The fog appeared, and she changed back to human. The old woman nudged the body with her shoe. “We’ll have to carry him.”

“But he’s heavy,” she complained. She couldn't help fussing over such a trivial thing. If she didn't fuss, she felt she might start going into hysterics or something.

“We could use some help,” Agatha said.

A light bulb went off over her head. She knew who she could ask, and no matter the answer, she would feel better for asking.

She scurried down the corridor and tapped softly on the door. Yula cracked the door to see who it was. Her hair was braided, and she had on a nightgown.

“Lady Naomi, what is the matter?” She opened the door wider.

She slipped inside and closed the door softly behind her. “How would you like to do something really crazy and stupid?”

She arched an eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m kidnapping Tavik and sneaking out of the castle. I need help carrying him through a secret passage. Agatha’s helping, but another pair of hands would come in really handy so to speak.”

Her eyebrow arched higher. “Agatha, the witch that Lord Tavik hates? The one he suspected you of conspiring with? You are conspiring with her? Naomi.” She sounded disappointed in her.

She hunched her shoulders as guilt crept over her. “I didn’t plan to conspire with her.”

“You swore to him that you weren’t in collusion with her.”

She straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t back down now. It was impossible. “And I wasn’t when I swore. Look, we’re getting out of here. Agatha’s going to help me get a unicorn.”

“How did you conspire with her? I never saw anything.”

“She was the cat.”

“Kitty?”

“Yeah, I know it seems impossible, but she’s a witch. They can do that sort of stuff.”

Yula began patting Naomi’s head. “Did you fall out of bed? Did you eat something rotten?”

She swatted her hand away. “This is real. Will you help? I know it’s asking a lot, and I’ll understand if you say no, but I need to know your answer quick.”

She turned away and hugged herself. “You will surely get into trouble.”

“I surely will, but I don’t care. I have to do this. Yula, this is the only chance I have to be reunited with my family. If you had the chance to see your boys again, wouldn’t you take it?”

She whirled around to face her. “I would die for the chance to see my boys.”

“I know, and I know that I really have no right to ask you to come with me, but I didn’t want to leave you behind without at least giving you the choice.”

Yula turned away again. She walked over to a chest and swung it open. She began picking clothes out of it and changed out of her bedclothes. When she was ready, she reached down and picked up one thing from her chest. It was a rabbit rag doll. It was old and discolored with long floppy ears and a smile stitched on its face. She tucked the toy under her arm. “No woman should be separated from her family. If I can help you reunite with yours, maybe there will be hope for me.”

Naomi led the way back. Agatha had gotten the door to the secret passage open and had one of her floating, glowing balls ready. Tavik had been turned over to his back and lay with his arms crossed over his stomach on the floor.

“Dear Calax, his face!” Yula shielded her eyes with her hands.

Naomi noted her reaction with concern. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Yula steeled herself and lowered her hands. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She nodded.

Agatha motioned them over to the body. She put her hands underneath his arms. “Grab his legs,” she ordered.

“Wait.” Yula went and retrieved the mask. She put it over Tavik’s lolling head. Naomi and Agatha both directed scrunched eyebrows at her. She shrugged her shoulders. “He will feel better with it on, and I think once he wakes up, he will not feel very well at all.” Naomi shook her head. Yula still tended to his best wishes. She supposed it was all right, but she didn't think they would be able to coddle the war lord too much. He probably wouldn't let them. Yula and Naomi each grabbed a leg and heaved. Tavik was no feather weight. All three women instantly began to huff as they scuttled out of the room with their burden.

They were a quarter of the way down the secret passage when Agatha called for a break. She bent over at the waist and let her arms dangle down to the floor. She had been carrying the brunt of the burden. Naomi took pity on her and switched places. She picked Tavik up under his arms and began walking backwards while the two older women carried a leg each.

“May I ask why we’re taking Lord Tavik with us? Is he to be ransomed?” Yula asked between pants.

“No, he is to be bait,” Agatha replied. She seemed very pleased with the way things were turning out.

“Bait for what?” Yula asked.

“The unicorn,” Naomi supplied.

Yula stumbled, and Tavik’s foot slipped from her hands. Naomi’s arms screamed as she staggered under the sudden extra burden. “What good is he for a unicorn?”

“Seeing as how he’s a virgin, he'll come in very handy in attracting one for Naomi,” Agatha said.

“A virgin?” Yula cried. She put her hands up and shook her head. “That is ridiculous. He isn’t a virgin.”

“Yula, pick his leg back up,” Naomi wheezed. She could feel her knees starting to buckle.

Instead Agatha dropped her leg and turned to the other woman, now Naomi was the only one holding him. Her body screamed at the strain. As she struggled to hold him up, Agatha put her fists on her hips. “Slept with him have you?”

“Guys!”

Yula seemed offended by her question. She crossed her arms and stared down her nose at the witch. “No, I have not, but he is a strong, able-bodied, young man. Of course, he's not a virgin. Why Naomi is his bride. She can tell you that.”

“Actually, all I can tell you is that he’s a good kisser, and I am about to drop him if you two don’t come back and help,” she wheezed.

“But you two slept together,” Yula said.

“Yeah, we slept together as in we slept in the same bed and kept our hands to ourselves. Do you two want me to drop him?”

“But this is unheard of,” Yula said still clearly amazed by Tavik’s chastity.

“It actually makes perfect sense,” Agatha said.

“How so?”

“Fine.” Fed up, she dropped him. His helm covered head clanged loudly when it hit the floor. She lifted her arms and stretched.

“You saw the tattoo. You know what it means.” Naomi’s ears perked up. She still didn’t know what it meant, and she had the feeling she should probably find out.

“It means nothing. No one would dare scrape their knee to him.”

“You know that tattoo, and it is his mark. He has sworn himself to him.”

“But that is outrageous. No one in their right mind would worship Errilol. One’s fate would be doomed.”

“He has sworn allegiance to the Lord Destroyer,” Agatha insisted.

“Then we should get as far away from him as we can, not bring him with us!”

“Bring him. Leave him. Don’t we have to move to do either of those?” Naomi was still ignored.

“He is the only full grown virgin available to us. We have to use him to entice the unicorn.”

“Oh, this is perfect. We are going to use a worshiper of Errilol to get ourselves a unicorn.”

“You know we could debate this as we haul heavy butt here.” Neither woman so much as looked at her. Their eyes were locked on each other. Jaws set, eyes narrowed, a spot of color high on each cheek. She was invisible to the two arguing women.

“Well, it is the god’s own fault for demanding virginity of his acolytes. He had to know they would be useful in unicorn hunting.”

“Where is Mr. Squibbles anyway?” Naomi wondered aloud. She looked around. Was the mouse getting horses? She hoped he didn’t ditch them if they didn’t appear by dawn.

“No, I think he thought no one would be crazy enough to kidnap a warrior imbued with his infernal rage. In fact, if the idea had occurred to him, it probably made him guffaw.”

“Well, I wonder if he’s laughing now.”

Yula finally turned to her. “Naomi, you can’t be serious about this.” She looked up. She’d been picking her nails while the two women argued.

“I would get serious if I could get some help hauling lead ass out of here.”

Agatha nodded and went to grab a leg again. Yula hung back shaking her head. “What have I gotten myself into?”

“Think of it as a grand adventure,” Agatha suggested.

Yula’s mouth thinned, but she retook her place with the other leg. Naomi looked up at them but didn't grab his arms. “Are we really going now?”

Both women nodded. She bent to grab him. “You’re both ready?”

They nodded.

“Now I don’t want either of you to stop to argue again,” she said.

The two women looked at each other narrowly.

“I mean it. No one says another word until we’re out of this tunnel.”

“Naomi, let’s go,” Agatha said.

She bent down and heaved up her portion. The three women huffed and puffed down the rest of the secret passage without a word passed between them. When they arrived at the end of the passage, Naomi looked around but didn’t see Mr. Squibbles with any horses. Her brow scrunched as she searched harder in the dark.

“Up here.”

She looked up and dropped Tavik again. It was going to be pure luck if he didn't have a concussion after all of this, but that was the least of her worries though. Seeing Agatha’s cottage floating above them sort of took precedence over everything else. She looked up at the underside of the house and experienced that little world tilt she'd felt when first seeing the two moons. She rubbed her eyes and still saw the same thing. The cottage was above them, floating. Clumps of dirt rained down intermittently and roots dangled. She couldn’t see anything suspending the cottage over them. There weren’t any balloons or wings.

“What in the world is that?” Yula exclaimed.

“That is my home. You're welcome to come inside,” Agatha said. Thick ropes descended to them. Naomi grabbed one numbly and looked up.

“We’re going to the northern plateaus in that?” she asked.

“Do you have a problem with my home?” Agatha asked.

“I have a problem with it floating.”

“Pish posh, it is perfectly safe. Cottages are very buoyant don’t you know.”

“You don’t say,” Yula said in a dazed fashion. Naomi was glad she wasn't the only one amazed by the hovering real estate.

“Are you all coming up or not?” Mr. Squibbles demanded.

“Who is that talking to us?” Yula asked, searching the open door and windows for a figure.

“That’s Mr. Squibbles. He’s a mouse and Agatha’s familiar. I hope foul language doesn’t offend you.”

“What?”

They tied a rope around Tavik and watched as he was pulled up to the flying house without any viewable help. The rope she still clasped gave a little tug on her hand.

“Just get a good grip, and the rope will do the rest,” Agatha said. She clasped the rope tightly but nearly let go when it began to pull her up. She white knuckled the rope and squeezed her eyes shut. She expected the house to crash to the ground any moment and her with it.

Once she was up, she scrabbled through the doorway into the cottage. Tavik lay in the center of the room. Mr. Squibbles peered up at her. “What took you guys so long?”

“Yula and Agatha stopped to argue in the passage.”

“I have a feeling those two are going to be fun together,” he said in an ominous tone. When they were all inside, Agatha began battening down the house for flight. It involved closing and locking cabinets and putting anything loose into a crate or bin.

“Squibbles, have I forgotten anything?”

“Other than provisions, a proper plan, and a few marbles, I would say no.”

Agatha grinned. “Good, let’s get moving.” She reached up and unlatched a ship’s wheel which swung down in front of her. Naomi hadn't noticed it before, but then who looked for a ship's wheel in cottage? The witch peered out the open front door and spun the wheel around one turn. The house swiveled in the air. Naomi suddenly feared she would be sick. Demerol was something else she missed from home, and while she adding to the list, she put vodka on it. She would have given her left arm for a bottle of vodka. She knew this whole situation would've made a lot more sense drunk.

“Take a seat, ladies. We’ll be flying through the night,” Agatha said.

Naomi looked at their unconscious hostage. “Shouldn’t we tie him up?”

Agatha cast a glance at him and shrugged her shoulders. “If it makes you feel better, go ahead, but he would be a fool to attack me in my own house. A witch’s cottage is her sanctum. I have a lot of spells laid out in this place that would make even the most blood crazed berserker think twice before taking me on.”

She was glad Agatha felt so secure in her home, but since she didn't have any such assurances, she used the rope that had brought them up to tie him. By the time she was done, he looked like he’d been mummified with hemp.

Yula stood with her nose pressed against one of the windows. “Oh my lady, come look!” She looked over her shoulder at the land racing below them. “Isn’t it wondrous?”

“It is pretty amazing that the cottage can fly.”

“And us, we’re flying too!”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve been on airplanes. They fly even higher in the air and take people to distant places on my home world. Flying is pretty mundane there.”

“I don’t see how this could ever be mundane,” she murmured as she watched the racing scenery below them.

“As soon as anything becomes commercial, it’s mundane.” Feeling very tired, she lay down on a love seat and closed her eyes. Fighting with Tavik, carrying him down the passage, so much had happened in one day. She’d always had an easy time falling asleep on airplanes, and the same could now be said about flying cottages too.

She dreamed about flying. She was sailing through the air like Peter Pan. She loved it. She’d never felt so free. She looked down upon the dark forest flowing below her and felt like she was queen of the world. She looked up at the night sky and marveled at how close the stars appeared. Her eyes went to the moon, only it was not one of the ugly moons, but Earth’s moon. It was full and hung heavy in the sky. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. A unicorn appeared on the face of it. She shot up to reach it, but the moon never seemed to get any closer no matter how far she flew and flew. The unicorn tossed its mane and whinnied. She called to it to come down, but the unicorn didn't listen. She was impure. The unicorn didn't listen to impure things. She screamed louder, but he continued to ignore her. She flew higher and higher. It didn't grow colder in the higher elevation. It remained toasty and nice, but the climate didn't matter. All she cared about was reaching the unicorn. She stretched out as far as she could in her desperation. The unicorn laughed at her antics. She grumpily wondered how she could have ever liked unicorns when she was younger. They were infuriating beasts. They were entirely too judgmental of a person’s lifestyle, but judgmental or not, she needed him if she were ever to see that moon in her night sky again. She reached further. She felt her fingers graze the unicorn’s tail. She lunged again and fell hard onto the floor. Unicorn, moon, and flight vanished. A wood floor, breakfast smells, and the sound of a crackling fire replaced them.

She sat up from the floor and looked over to the hearth where Yula tended a skillet with eggs frying on it. Agatha sat at the table studying a map with Mr. Squibbles, and Tavik had been moved to a chair across from her. He seemed awake, but it was hard to tell with the mask on and all of his limbs tightly tied.

“Good morning, milady. Breakfast will be ready shortly,” Yula said.

She nodded and got up off the floor. She went behind Agatha to look at the map. She noticed Tavik’s head swiveled to follow her. He was definitely awake then. She tried to ignore him, but goose bumps went up and down her arms at his silent stare. Maybe it was a good thing he had the mask on. His current expression was probably scarier than it.

The map was hand drawn. In the upper portion, there were the northern plateaus. “How’s it going?”

“We made good time during the night. If we keep this up, we'll reach our destination by early tomorrow.”

“So the cottage can fly several days without landing or anything?”

“It could, but I thought I would set her down midday to give ourselves a break.”

“Sounds good.” She scooped up Mr. Squibbles and walked across the room with him.

“Has Tavik said anything?” she whispered.

She had to hold the mouse to her ear to hear his hushed reply. “He said he was very disappointed with Yula. She didn't take that well.”

She clenched her jaw. “How dare him. He has no right to reproach her.”

“He watched you the rest of the time. I think if he ever gets loose, you're the first one he’ll go after.”

She nodded. She didn’t want to think about what he would do if freed. She slanted her eyes to him. His mask was pointed at them. She walked across the room and ripped it off.

“Lady Naomi!” Yula cried.

“He doesn’t need that with us. We’ve all seen his face. No point in hiding it, and it just annoys the hell out of me.” He looked up at her with cool blue eyes. He didn't say a word. Agatha’s eyes bobbed back and forth between them. A little smile curled her lips when she turned back to her map.

When the table was set, there were five places. One was just a small saucer for Mr. Squibbles, but Tavik got the same place setting as the women. Naomi realized that he would not be able to feed himself. She wasn't sure if they should feed him. Maybe it would be better to keep him weak with hunger, but Yula seemed steadfast on the dining arrangements. When she took the seat beside him and picked up his fork, she got a little thrill of revenge.

“You know to make this completely fair, I should blindfold you.”

He turned his arctic eyes to her, and they bored into her. “Would I get the same dessert as you did?”

Her back stiffened at the mention of past events. “No, I’m afraid that's not on the menu.”

He shrugged. “Then blindfolding me wouldn't be fair.”

She bristled at his reply. “And what the hell do you know about fair? Do you think it was fair to truss me up like a Christmas goose whenever it suited you! Do you think it was fair to force me to marry you! Do you think it was fair to draft Yula’s sons into your army?”

“The only people who ever believe anything can be fair are small children who have lived sheltered lives,” he replied.

She clenched his fork in her hand. She could stab him in the eye and say well fair didn’t exist. Sucked for you. Agatha circumvented her murderous plans by standing up from her seat and rapping him on the head with the wooden spoon for the eggs. Cooked eggs sprayed across his face. “I think it would be fair to say you shouldn’t make any of us angry. We are the three women who hold your fate in our hands, and we do not think much of you. Who knows what might happen if you were to upset one of us. You could end up riding outside dangling from a rope. It can get very cold out there, and permafrost can only be cured by amputation.”

He slouched back in his chair and cast a dark look at the witch. Naomi speared a piece of sausage and held it to his lips. He angled his eyes back to her, and she smiled sweetly. “Now open wide.”

Continue to Chapter 12.