Chapter 9

“Unicorns find humans irritating. The whole have to be a virgin thing is
just an excuse to not have to talk to most of you.” --Mr. Squibbles
Naomi stared at the witch a moment and then began to giggle. “That’s ridiculous. Tavik isn’t a virgin. How could he be?”

Agatha’s eyebrows rose. “Slept with him have you?”

She hunched her shoulders. “No, we made a deal, but surely--“

“Squibbles’ nose is rarely wrong.”

“He can smell virgins?”

“Aund wyho cyan’t?”

“Well, what good is that going to do us? We can’t kidnap him and use him as unicorn bait!”

Agatha stared at her. She was grinning.

“You’re crazy.”

“No, I’m a witch.”

Naomi was getting a sinking feeling. She was very much not going to like this she was sure. “Come on, let's be serious.”

“You said you were committed.”

“Yes, but this is bat shit crazy. I’ve only gotten up to cuckoo on the loony scale.”

“Squibbles, I need you to get us back into the castle. We’re going war lord hunting.”

“No, this is absolutely insane. Do you know what he’ll do if he catches us? He’ll kill us! He may be a virgin, but he’s a homicidal virgin!”

“Who said we’re going to get caught?” the witch asked.

“How are you going to sneak around the castle? Tavik knows you, and I’m sure the servants do too.”

Agatha puffed on her pipe. The smoke started to settle around her thickly. Naomi got a skin crawling electrical feeling as she continued to draw on the pipe. The smoke increased and shrouded the witch. All she could see was a blurry outline, but it began to change. The electrical feeling increased. With a small thunderclap, the smoke dissipated, and in Agatha’s seat, there sat a black cat with yellow eyes.

“Do you think anyone will question your new pet?” Agatha asked from the cat’s body.

Naomi was really becoming uncomfortable with how comfortable she was getting with talking animals. “You just better hope Tavik isn’t allergic.”

“If we're to make it back before anyone notices Naomi’s gone, we better hurry,” Mr. Squibbles said having finally emptied his mouth.

Agatha jumped down from the chair. She meowed at the door, and it swung open for her. She waited in the doorway for Naomi to follow. She shook her head and rose. She was going back to the castle. If Stomper started talking to her on the way back, she would know she had gone completely mental and was probably in that straight jacket she'd mentioned earlier surrounded by nice padded walls.

She retrieved Stomper and climbed back onto the horse with less grace than before. Mr. Squibbles retook his place between the horse’s ears, and Agatha, the cat hopped into Naomi’s arms.

“You know black cats are bad luck,” she said.

“I certainly will be for Tavik,” the witch replied.

Mr. Squibbles said something to the horse, and the large steed turned and headed back to the castle.

They rode in silence through the woods. She felt odd holding her would be savior in her arms, especially as she had begun purring. To break the silence and reassure herself that she was with a witch and not just a cat, she cleared her throat and asked, “How exactly did you end up enemies with Tavik?”

The purring stopped, and the fur bristled on her back. “It's hard to say. We've always been at odds. He believes the only way to solve anything is with bloodshed and war. I've done all I can to limit that.”

“Like helping all the women and children escape from Harold's Pass?” Naomi said remembering her comments when they first met.

The cat nodded. “Yes, I just barely managed it this time. I'm getting too old to whisk away that many people in the dead of night.”

“Isn't there anyone to stand against him? Another lord or king or someone?”

“There used to be.”

“But they were worse,” Mr. Squibbles said.

“Worse?”

There was a low growl from Agatha. Mr. Squibbles looked back at them from his position on Stomper's head. “Don't try and argue it, Agatha. The rulers before Tavik were heartless. Yes, he creates strife and kills, but at least he doesn't torture and enslave like the others did.”

“He is merely the lesser evil. The key word to remember being evil.”

Hearing Tavik referred to as evil felt strange to her. Yes, he had scared her a number of times and had hurt her once, and she could be considered enslaved by being forced to become his wife and fill the role of Lady, but still there was something about him that made her balk at calling him evil. He'd allowed her to learn how to ride, he'd let her keep Yula as her servant, and he didn't lock her in her room. And there was their agreement. No sex. Why did he want to remain a virgin? He'd seemed interested enough that one time.

They arrived back at the entrance to the secret passage. Even knowing it was there, she couldn't tell where it was. The way the foliage grew and rocks formed, it was completely invisible. Mr. Squibbles stayed on Stomper when Naomi and Agatha dismounted. He would return the horse to the stable.

She crept cautiously back into the passage following the witch, but it was as dark as before. She moved slowly to avoid falling. She had no desire to add to the scabs on her knees and hands. Agatha, noticing her trouble, said a word and a spark of light formed that floated up to guide them. She grinned down at the cat. The idea that magic existed and could be useful was quite comforting to the twenty-first century girl. It meant things were possible. Hope was not a farfetched idea.

She worried about the wedged door of the secret passage, but another single word from Agatha closed it without a sound. There was no evidence any longer of her adventure except for a black cat. She shook her head. She knew that the mission they were on would not go as smoothly.

“Tell me, do you even have a plan?” she asked the cat as she climbed into bed.

“Something will come to me. Don’t worry.” Agatha closed her eyes and curled up at the foot of the bed.

Yula woke her far too early for her liking the next morning, but then, anything before noon would have been too early for her. She moaned and tried to burrow under the bed covers, but Yula began tugging on her feet to get her out of bed.

“What is so important that I have to be awake?” she asked from under her pillow.

“Breakfast, of course.”

She rolled her eyes and tried to cocoon herself in blankets, but Yula caught her arm and pulled her toward the breakfast table. “Did you not sleep well, milady?”

“I feel like I didn’t sleep at all,” she answered scrubbing at her eyes. She began to pick at her food.

“Do you wish to miss your lesson with Master Geoff?”

She chewed grimly on her food. “No, I wanted horse riding lessons. I shouldn’t shirk them after all the trouble everyone went to for me.” There was a meow from her feet. Agatha had followed her from the bed and looked clearly hungry. She began scraping eggs from her plate to another to share with her.

“Who is this?” Yula nodded down at the black cat.

“My new cat I guess. She came to my room last night and made herself quite at home.”

“And what name have you given her?” Yula crouched and extended her hand for Agatha to sniff. Naomi froze. They hadn’t discussed names. She couldn’t say Agatha obviously. Tavik would kill them both, and while Agatha may have nine lives, Naomi definitely only had one. “Kitty.”

Yula’s brow scrunched together. “Kitty?” She obviously didn’t think much of the name. Agatha meowed to distract her. Yula scratched under her chin, and Agatha raised her head to give her better access. The sight was slightly disturbing to Naomi. Her mind kept trying to picture the scene if Agatha were in her real form.

She went down to the stables feeling half human. She met Master Geoff and Stomper. The horse greeted her friendlily. She hoped the stable master didn’t pick up on their improved familiarity, but she needn’t have worried. Master Geoff looked to have been perturbed by something else prior to her arrival. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Is something wrong?”

The stable master smiled tightly at her. “Nothing to worry about, milady. Just someone played a grand joke on one of my stable boys. The poor lad is still scared half out of his wits due to it.”

She already knew what joke he was talking about but thought it prudent to inquire. “What happened?”

“Someone hid in the stables and told the boy he was a ghost and made him saddle Stomper here.”

“Oh, what a terrible prank.”

“Yes, I’m going to have to put a guard on the stables to keep it from happening again.” Naomi nodded. She wondered how they would get a horse the next time they needed one. Mr. Squibbles could not possibly trick a couple of grown men. She decided to push the worry from her mind and focused on her second riding lesson. Master Geoff noticed how much more comfortably she sat and complimented her on it. She accepted the praise as innocently as she could.

She returned from her lesson twice as tired as before, and she was beginning to feel sore from all of her riding. She hoped Yula would let her nap for the rest of the day. She was barely keeping her eyes opened as it was. Of course, napping was out of the question when she returned to her room. Tavik was sitting inside waiting for her. With a quirk of an eyebrow, she saw that Agatha was in his lap purring loudly as the war lord petted her.

“Tavik, welcome home,” she said stifling a yawn.

“How are your lessons?”

“Geoff has some hope of making a horsewoman of me yet. Are we having lunch together again?”

“No, I came to ask you something.”

The statement had the effect of a large espresso upon her. She blinked and waited for him to continue. “I found something very odd when I returned to my quarters.” She froze as her mind raced. Did the entrance of the secret passage not close properly?

She schooled her face to look blank. “What did you find?”

He nudged a pale pink candle that lay on the table. It was the one she’d cast aside when she entered the secret passage. She hadn’t paid it any mind at the time because she hadn’t thought she would be coming back and hadn’t thought about it when she and Agatha had returned.

Going for total ignorance, she asked, “What’s wrong with it?”

Tavik chuckled slightly. “I don’t have pink candles in my room, and none of the servants would use one of these. They are only used in your room.”

“Huh. Maybe a servant dropped it while cleaning your room?”

“You think that’s what happened?” he asked, clearly not buying her theory for a second.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“Have a seat, Naomi.”

She was getting a bad feeling again. “I’m fine. I would rather stand, you know because of sitting on the horse.”

“Have a seat.”

She gulped and scooted over to the chair across from him. “How did your business go? Did everything go all right?”

“What did you hope to find in my bedchamber?”

Her face fell. He knew it’d been her. She was in trouble now. Agatha jumped down from Tavik’s lap and went over to her and began to brush up against her legs. She purred loudly. She figured the witch was trying to reassure her.

“I wasn’t looking for anything.”

“But you were in my bedchamber.”

What could she say? He already knew that she’d been in there. How could she divert him from what she had really been doing and still not get into trouble?

“I was scared. I missed you.”

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. She couldn't tell if he believed her but continued on regardless. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve never been a lady or lived in a castle. It’s all so strange to me. I wanted to see you, but you weren't here so I went to your bedchamber as the next best thing. I’m sorry I invaded your privacy.” She hung her head in pretend shame.

“And if I had been here, what would you have done?” he asked quietly.

She bit her lip. Oh geez, she did not have any answer to that.

“You forced me into an agreement on our wedding day. You specifically said separate beds. Have you reconsidered that demand?”

Her eyes widened. That day at lunch, she may have had a momentary lust for the war lord, but she needed him to stay untouched. How had he stayed a virgin so long anyway? She glanced at Agatha for any clue on how to proceed. Yellow eyes stared back at her without an ounce of help in them. She twisted the cloth of her skirt. Closing her eyes, she answered.

“No, the agreement stays. I’m better now. I won’t bother you ever again.”

“Don’t feel you have to keep the agreement on my account,” Tavik teased.

She lifted her eyes to glare at him. Things were just not adding up. He had agreed to separate beds when he had not really needed to. He had not wanted a wife in the first place. He was a virgin. If he hadn’t come onto her the other day, she would have thought he was a very suppressed gay man, but he had shown his interest in her clearly. What if the other day were an act? What if he were so deep in the closet that he didn’t know what he was? It almost made her feel sorry for him. Oh, the poor virgin gay war lord. Who was worse off than him? His wife.

“It's probably for the best that it stays,” she said softly.

He rose from his chair and stepped over to her. She looked at him calmly. “Close your eyes, Naomi.” She stiffened at the request then she saw the blindfold dangling from his hand. She grimaced and did as she was told. He tied the blindfold across her eyes securely.

“Swivel your chair toward me.” Goosebumps were already rising on her arms. She carefully turned her chair toward him. His hands settled on top of hers on her lap. His breathe brushed her forehead. “Lift your face.” She tilted her head back. His lips grazed her cheeks, her nose, and her chin with soft touches.

She breathed shallowly through her mouth under the gentle kisses. His mouth slanted over hers and gained access easily. She gave into the kiss. He certainly kissed her like he liked girls. She was ashamed at the feeling of relief that caused her. His sexuality should not matter to her. The fact was it would be better if he were gay. There would be no chance of her tempting him then. He pulled on her arms to get her to stand. She rose without breaking the kiss. He began backing her to her bed. He switched her wrists to one hand and wrapped his other around her to hold her close. Any lingering thoughts of Tavik being gay swiftly were blasted away by the bulge she felt against her hip.

“Gods, you make me do dangerous things,” he murmured against her mouth.

“Why is this dangerous?” she whispered back. His answer was another kiss and another step back toward the bed.

She took another blind step back as he kissed her and felt something furry tangle with her feet. She faltered to try and get clear of it, but Tavik had already taken a step for them. She lost her balance and began to fall. In the back of her mind, a voice cried, ‘Timber!’ She landed on her back without her arms to offer any buffer, and then a second impact as Tavik landed on top of her, squashing her.

She groaned in pain and tried to shift him off her. “Goddamnit, Kitty!” Her hand went to remove the blindfold so she could glare at Agatha, but Tavik's hand intercepted hers and jerked it away from her face.

“This is why it's dangerous,” he said.

“What is the big deal? Why can’t anyone see your face? Are you terribly scarred, disfigured, what? It doesn’t matter!”

“It does matter. I'm sorry.” Holding her hands immobile, he leaned forward and gave her a lingering kiss, but it wasn’t a kiss to ignite passions but a kiss of farewell. He rose to his feet and was gone. She waited a moment and heard the door to her chamber close. She reached up and snatched off the blindfold. Agatha crouched under the bed glaring at her. She glared back just as hard.

“What is the big idea, are you trying to kill me?”

“And I want to know what you were trying to do? We need him to stay pure.”

“Are you sure Mr. Squibbles was right because he certainly doesn’t act like a virgin.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well, maybe there’s another virgin in the castle. Have you considered that? Maybe we should expand our options.”

“Why, so you can remove Tavik as an option?”

She blew out a breath in aggravation. She rose up and went to her window to look down onto the courtyard. Maids beat carpets. A blacksmith toiled with a hammer on a piece of hot metal. Children chased chickens. Everyone was going about doing normal, mundane things while she argued with her talking cat and plotted how to kidnap her virgin husband. She wanted to beat rugs.

Agatha leapt up to the windowsill. “I doubt we have much time before Tavik returns to his troops and escapes our grasp,” the witch said. Absently, Naomi stroked the feline’s head.

“What do you suppose we should do?”

“Our best option is to drug him. We can carry him down through the secret passage and be long gone before anyone knows anything.”

“They've placed a guard on the horses due to Mr. Squibbles’ little theatrics the other night.”

“That will make things a little more difficult, but we will be able to get around it.”

“And how do you suggest we drug Tavik?”

“Surely, he would accept a drink with his wife?”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Enough of this gloominess. We must stay confident. We will succeed.” She walked away from the window.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re a team of a mouse, a cat, and a captive woman. What will we succeed except total and utter failure?”

“That’s the spirit,” grumbled a squeaky voice. Naomi looked at their new arrival.

“Do you have any bright ideas? How about we throw a net over him and conk him on the head?”

“Do you still want to get a unicorn or not?” Mr. Squibbles asked.

Naomi dropped her head but nodded.

“We need Tavik, then.”

“Isn’t there another virgin we could get? Maybe instead of kidnapping someone, we could just ask them to help us?”

The mouse shook his head. “The only other virgins in this castle are children. Do you want to take a child?”

“You know that he’s the worst person to take. He’s not only the most dangerous, but a lot of men will come looking for him. How can we be sure we’ll make it to a unicorn before they catch up with us?”

The cat stood up on her back legs and placed her forepaws on Naomi’s knees to look up into her face with large unwavering eyes. “You have such little faith. I am a powerful witch; capable of many things that would surprise you. I bet you are capable of a few things that would surprise you too. We will succeed. How may not be apparent at the moment, but we will accomplish because we are capable, determined, and just a bit crazy.”

She felt a little better. Agatha was an amazing woman. She was sure she could do lots of things that would astound her, and Agatha was more than willing to help her. If she couldn’t have much confidence in herself, she should at least have some in her new friends.

“I’m sorry. I do believe you, and I’m grateful for all the help you've given me. I wouldn’t have a chance without both of you.”

Agatha and Mr. Squibbles nodded accepting her apology. “So what do you have in mind really?”

Agatha opened her mouth to reply, but her head whipped to the door. She turned to look over there as well. Yula cracked the door open and peered in. Naomi groaned.

“Milady, who is in here with you?” she asked tentatively.

Hoping Yula hadn't heard anyone but her, she chuckled thinly and indicated Agatha. “Just the cat. I know it’s silly, but I just started talking to her and couldn’t stop.”

Yula pushed the door open and slipped in. She looked around the room. “I thought I heard other voices.”

She laughed again. “I may have been answering myself with a pretend voice. I’m not crazy. I swear.”

Yula didn't look convinced that she was not actually talking to someone else, but the only other being in the room was the cat. Mr. Squibbles had run back under the bed as soon as they became aware of her.

“Was Lord Tavik here?” she asked.

She rolled her eyes when she nodded. “Yes, his grand lordship graced me with his presence.”

Yula smirked at her but didn't comment. She took the seat left behind by Tavik. She continued to grin at her until she began to wonder what she found so amusing. Her comment hadn't been that droll. She waited for her to let her in on the joke, but Yula’s smile only widened into a Cheshire cat smile.

“All right, I give up. What’s so funny?”

“You seem to be missing a ribbon.”

She looked down, and saw that the ribbon that laced up the front of her dress was gone. She hadn't noticed Tavik tugging it off during their lip lock. She looked around the room and saw Agatha playing with it near the bed. When she bent down to pick it up, she whispered, “You could have told me.”

Agatha merely reached up and batted at the dangling ends. She snorted at her behavior. She returned to her seat and began threading the ribbon back into her dress. Yula’s eyes still danced in amusement.

“I have no idea how this happened,” she muttered. Yula chuckled at her expense.

There was a tap at the door. Yula went to see who it was. A maid stood there. She spoke softly to Yula for a few moments. “Milady, Lord Tavik requests your company for dinner tonight.”

“Who'll be dining with us?” she asked.

“It’s to be a private dinner in his chamber.”

Agatha immediately went to the door and meowed to be let out. Naomi assumed she was going to consult with Mr. Squibbles and create a plan to kidnap Tavik. She hoped the two would remember that she would most likely be tied up for the meal and unable to slip something into his food, and Tavik would probably notice a cat or a mouse trying to get at his cup or plate.

Continue to Chapter 10.