Comments on Unicorn Bait: Chapter 2

Dang it, I always mess up dying and dieing. Fixed ...

2009-06-09T17:39:33.495-04:00

Dang it, I always mess up dying and dieing. Fixed now. Thank ya. And I read up on "The Vision of Escaflowne". I've never seen it, but it looks good. It does start with the same general premise, but then earthling swept to another planet isn't that new.

now i remember! it strongly reminds me of "th...

2009-06-07T05:29:33.572-04:00

now i remember! it strongly reminds me of "the vision of escaflowne" an old cartoon series. the *two moons* did it for me. but, although it reminds me of escaflowne, it's still a different story :)
er, i spotted another one: "...and 'dieing'?" i dont know if the way the word's spelled is accepted in your area, but it's spelled 'dying' here. :)

Haha, Anon.

And that joke reminds me of "Ca...

2009-03-31T16:52:00.000-04:00

Haha, Anon.

And that joke reminds me of "Cake or Death?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNjcuZ-LiSY

"You will chose!"

"Between marrying you and...

2009-03-31T11:41:00.000-04:00

"You will chose!"

"Between marrying you and dying?"

nod

no response.

haha reminds me of this old lame joke. A man gets mugged in an alley and the mugger says "Your money or your life!".
...
...
...
"Well"?
"I'm thinking about it!".

Nicole,

I'm FINALLY working on the edits yo...

2008-11-21T12:49:00.000-05:00

Nicole,

I'm FINALLY working on the edits you and others have pointed out. Thank you so much for catching stuff. That bit is missing some major content as well. I've changed it to:

Instead of looking up to quiver in fear, Naomi looked directly into the eye holes where she saw not a hint of humanity reflected back at her. Just black pits. It made her think of Nietzche. The abyss

"Instead of looking up to quiver in fear. Naomi lo...

2008-09-16T07:25:00.000-04:00

"Instead of looking up to quiver in fear. Naomi looked into the eye holes..."

comma should replace fullstop.

am loving UB... just like SM, the pages turn themselves. while i usually enjoy 'heavier' stuff, this is absolutely awesome!

on the installment length issue, i prefer probably about double this length, but that's not much of an issue when each page has a life of

She guessed that’s what pillaging looked like. ...

2008-03-18T18:35:00.000-04:00
She guessed that’s what pillaging looked like. A lot of shouting, running and carrying. And grabbing, couldn’t forget grabbing, she thought as she rubbed her bruised arms and neck.
AHAHAHA!